Dear Corner,
I am a Black, Confident, Attractive and Caring individual that feels I have a lot to offer in a relationship. I am well educated, well versed, outspoken, spontaneous and I can be a good friend to those I cares about. When it comes to a man, I am very nurturing, have a high sex drive and can be a lady in the streets and a freak in the bedroom. My issue seems to be that when it comes down to it I am fu*kable but not date-able. I am confused...the men I have been dealing with seem to just want a friend with benefits type of deal, what am I doing wrong? How many of you out there feel like I do? How many of you feel like you have so much to offer someone in a relationship but have yet to find one deserving of your love? How many of you have thought you’d found someone only to realize that they were only a projection – hopelessly void of anything deeper than the image of what you desired. I am a woman who loves to please my man, so why the hell am I still single?
Signed: Confused and Frustrated
***************************************
Dear Confused and Frustrated,
Where are you finding these men? These are the men who only want to test drive the Lexus but all the while knowing they will never actually Buy the Lexus?!? You seem to have everything together and going for you: looks, career, sex appeal and personality. Remember this: The road to a great relationship is one of self-discovery! Do you love yourself? If you did you would never even consider dealing with a man like this if you are ready to settle down and find "Mr. Right"!
No one can love you or make you happy better than you. Maybe it is the "Type" of men that you are attracting is a result of how you really feel about yourself. Finding "Mr. Right" is not to fulfill all the voids that are missing in your life or to so called make you "complete". Your "Mr. Right" should be someone to add on to your happiness as well as you should add on to theirs. This person should be a compliment not a supplement. You can't go out looking for love. You'll find love when you least expect it and most of the time it's when you're not looking. Re-evaluate what you want in "Mr. Right" but don't lower your standards. You should realize that "Mr. Right" cannot be perfect. He may snore, have a BA rather then an MBA or may even have bad credit but you have to remember that you are not perfect either therefore you can't expect him to be perfect. Don't be too picky but don't settle for less either. Find a happy medium.
Don't put a deadline on your life. You don't have to get married by a certain age, with the white picket fence, two kids and a dog. Enjoy yourself while you can and everything will fall into place. When you meet someone, follow your gut instincts. If there’s something there, explore it, but do so cautiously, and 100% aware, at all times, of what you decided you’re looking for. If it’s clear that you two are looking for different things (like all he wants is a sexually friendship) move on. Don’t stick around waiting to see if they’ll have a change of heart – remember how wonderful you are and how content you are with your life and realize that you can’t expect different results doing the same thing over and over.
You will get to that point that you’ll realize - finding “Mr. Right” isn’t about seeing dozens and dozens of people searching for the right one, it’s about creating a situation in your life, where the right one, is the only one you see...
I am a Black, Confident, Attractive and Caring individual that feels I have a lot to offer in a relationship. I am well educated, well versed, outspoken, spontaneous and I can be a good friend to those I cares about. When it comes to a man, I am very nurturing, have a high sex drive and can be a lady in the streets and a freak in the bedroom. My issue seems to be that when it comes down to it I am fu*kable but not date-able. I am confused...the men I have been dealing with seem to just want a friend with benefits type of deal, what am I doing wrong? How many of you out there feel like I do? How many of you feel like you have so much to offer someone in a relationship but have yet to find one deserving of your love? How many of you have thought you’d found someone only to realize that they were only a projection – hopelessly void of anything deeper than the image of what you desired. I am a woman who loves to please my man, so why the hell am I still single?
Signed: Confused and Frustrated
***************************************
Dear Confused and Frustrated,
Where are you finding these men? These are the men who only want to test drive the Lexus but all the while knowing they will never actually Buy the Lexus?!? You seem to have everything together and going for you: looks, career, sex appeal and personality. Remember this: The road to a great relationship is one of self-discovery! Do you love yourself? If you did you would never even consider dealing with a man like this if you are ready to settle down and find "Mr. Right"!
No one can love you or make you happy better than you. Maybe it is the "Type" of men that you are attracting is a result of how you really feel about yourself. Finding "Mr. Right" is not to fulfill all the voids that are missing in your life or to so called make you "complete". Your "Mr. Right" should be someone to add on to your happiness as well as you should add on to theirs. This person should be a compliment not a supplement. You can't go out looking for love. You'll find love when you least expect it and most of the time it's when you're not looking. Re-evaluate what you want in "Mr. Right" but don't lower your standards. You should realize that "Mr. Right" cannot be perfect. He may snore, have a BA rather then an MBA or may even have bad credit but you have to remember that you are not perfect either therefore you can't expect him to be perfect. Don't be too picky but don't settle for less either. Find a happy medium.
Don't put a deadline on your life. You don't have to get married by a certain age, with the white picket fence, two kids and a dog. Enjoy yourself while you can and everything will fall into place. When you meet someone, follow your gut instincts. If there’s something there, explore it, but do so cautiously, and 100% aware, at all times, of what you decided you’re looking for. If it’s clear that you two are looking for different things (like all he wants is a sexually friendship) move on. Don’t stick around waiting to see if they’ll have a change of heart – remember how wonderful you are and how content you are with your life and realize that you can’t expect different results doing the same thing over and over.
You will get to that point that you’ll realize - finding “Mr. Right” isn’t about seeing dozens and dozens of people searching for the right one, it’s about creating a situation in your life, where the right one, is the only one you see...
Corner Family...What Are YOUR Thoughts.....
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