Cullen's Corner "Dear Corner" Letter of the Day, "Dear Corner, I found out I am HIV positive and I still had a one night stand. Am I a horrible person? Should I try to contact him?"

Dear Corner,

I am a young, beautiful, successful woman but I have this secret I have been keeping to myself for the past year. I was diagnosed with the HIV Virus late 2007. After the initial shock I went into complete denial. How could I have HIV? I tested every year since I graduated school 4 years ago so how can this be? I chose to ignore the fact of my status, even though at the back of my mind I knew it was correct. I figured I would just re-test just to make sure and when I did the result was still the same. I chose to just continue with my life and pretend like nothing has changed. I believe I contracted the Disease from someone during my college days. I was very popular. Guys gravitated to me and showed me a lot of attention because I was so pretty and outgoing. 

I lived a very promiscuous lifestyle then that I am ashamed now to admit. I probably have had sex with over 30 guys (or more) while in school. Please don't judge me because I know for a fact that most people that go away to school live a similar lifestyle they just choose not to admit it or except the fact that they promiscuous as well. I have been accused of being a hoe, a slut and a home-wrecker but the funny part about that was that the same women accusing me were the same women creeping around at night and doing the "Ho Stroll" at 5AM back across campus! I want to change now and I want to be able to let people know that I have this disease.

The problem is I have no idea how to contact every man I have had sex with in the past 5 years. I went on a vacation to Jamaica last spring break with my girlfriends and we "all" had one night stands with someone there. I have no idea what his name is anymore but I want to try to contact him as well. Am I a horrible person? We wore protection but I still think I should have told him I was just to embarrassed to say anything. I have never been a religious person but I was invited to my friends church last week and I was so convicted I got saved and joined the church. Someone told me to check out this forum so now I am here! What should I do Corner?

"Convicted and Concerned"

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Dear Convicted and Concerned,

First off I want to commend you for finding Jesus and letting Him lead your heart to this conviction. No one has the right to judge you for your past. We ALL have sinned and fall short of the Glory of the Lord. One thing I do want you to do is stop the denial. Now that you know you have HIV you need to take the appropriate steps to protect yourself and stay healthy and be honest with those in your life. Most importantly, be honest with yourself. I believe this letter is the first step to that honesty.  It is your civic duty to tell your sexual partner(s)! I know it will be hard, could be spreading it around to other people without knowing it. Think of all the other people's lives you could be affecting, forever, and you could have prevented it by picking up the phone and telling him (them)

Look for all the information you can find on HIV. You need to know what you are up against. You need to make sure your family and close friends know what was going on in your life. HIV is not something people can nor should they go through alone. You need people to win this fight, whether it's family, friends or a support group, people are the key.

Your situation brings to light the overall issue about sexually transmitted diseases, status, when to reveal, and whether to remain in a relationship with a person that has contracted an STD (curable or incurable). Most people won't even admit a VD in the past, much less get tested or reveal a + HIV status. HIV/AIDS doesn't care whether you are black or white; it doesn't care if you are gay or straight; it doesn't care about your socio-economic status....AIDS DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE.

Ladies (and gentlemen), please empower and protect yourselves. HIV infection can generally be broken down into four distinct stages: primary infection, clinically asymptomatic stage, symptomatic HIV infection, and progression from HIV to AIDS. It's not the end of you life if you have HIV so as long as you follow the correct steps you need to take you can still live a long, beautiful life.

A good source for you would be HIV Activist "Marvelyn Brown" http://www.marvelynbrown.com  She is great!! Her new book "THE NAKED TRUTH"is a great read!

Follow her on Twitter @marvelynbrown

Corner Family, what if your significant other told you that they were infected with HIV or AIDS? What would you do? Would you stay in the relationship or would you leave? What are YOUR Thoughts for Convicted...Your thoughts for Convicted?

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http://www.cullenscorner.com/forum/topics/dear-corner-i-found-out-i-am-hiv-positive-and-i-still-had-a-one-n